Most conversations we have in our daily lives are superficial. We are constantly filtering our thoughts, words, and actions to maintain social norms because we desire approval and acceptance. Unfortunately, this means the opportunity to fully put down the social mask is rare.

The opportunity to talk to someone without the fear of being judged is freeing. Having all the restrictions and expectations stripped away creates a space to be vulnerable, and we can express the uncomfortable, embarrassing, and even "shameful" things that are bothering us. It is important to have this space, because when feelings are silenced they tend to grow and can become quite scary.

The ability to give voice to your inner turmoil and have it reflected back gives clarity and insight. The very act of applying words to our experiences, feelings, and fears releases some of their energy and power over us. They start to become more manageable, and over time need less attention and resources. ​

Talking with someone is their ability to offer a fresh perspective and additional resources. It is easy to get stuck in a negative loop and only see the deficits in our lives. An outside perspective can help us find the silver lining, and remind us of our strengths. It is also easier for someone who is not directly affected by a problem to think of possible solutions we may not have.

When facing difficult feelings it is comforting to have someone close. They are able to offer courage during our fear, be a calming source during the chaos, and act as a beacon of light in the darkness. In the event the feelings and thoughts become overwhelming, they can offer tools to ease the intensity. Finally allowing those big emotions to be tolerable and get the attention they need. In turn, the parts that are crying out have the opportunity to be heard, met and find peace.

“If our time together provided you with everything you need to live your best life, how would you know our work was done?”.

I phrase the question in this way for two reasons.

First, I take a collaborative approach and want to ensure I have clarity about my client's goals right away. Having them explain what their best life looks like, gives us very clear and tangible goals to work towards. This way, I can ensure every decision I make during our time together is in service to their overarching desires.

Second, It invites their mind to drift into a happy place. This shift in thinking allows the mind to accept the possibility of a positive outcome and sets a productive tone for the session.

I am warm and collaborative, but I am not a yes man. I will call out patterns and challenge you.

I trust the wisdom of your system and let you set the intention for the session, but I am very active in session and keep us aligned with the set intention.

I believe we learn by doing, so therapy with me is experiential, practicing new skills in session with the invitation to make it an active practice throughout the week.

To be transparent, I really struggled with this question, because I don’t know that there is any one best thing!

I think moreover, the best thing I have learned about people is how incredibly resilient people are. It has taught me no matter how ugly the scar, how deep the hole, scary the thought, or traumatic the event there is always hope for healing and growth.

We can overcome our darkest moments, but sometimes we just need a little help finding the light to guide us.